Hi, my name is Aspen, and I hate squirrels. There, I said it. As an avid guardian of my human parents and the land we own, I can enthusiastically say that I despise squirrels. I’m not biased either. I’ve conducted a scientific poll with all neighboring dogs, and it’s unanimous—squirrels are a plague. The scavengers steal anything they can get their filthy claws on. Don’t get me wrong, they’re good entertainment for my brother Kaleo (German Shepherd)

—he’ll chase anything that moves, but I have higher qualms with them—matters of principle.

Last week, Mom planted some delicious-looking fruit trees. Mom, Dad, and Kaleo love the stuff, but that’s not saying a lot for Kaleo. But then, a squirrel clan decided to trespass into my yard and tried to steal my fruit. MY YARD! And on a warm day too!

I roared and sprinted toward the tree. The second squad member was in mid-air. I jumped with all my might, opened my mouth, and then as I started to bite into it…eww, it tasted like a New York Rat! I opened my mouth and let the pest go. 😈 😏 I saw the fear in the rest of the squirrel’s eyes as the cowards retreated to their base. Mission accomplished and another win for the Sarplaninacs. I’ll be ready the next time they decide to plague my yard.